2003-08-20

And the saga continues...

Krazy K and I arrived at this bar called The Kibitz Room. It was attached to a Jewish Deli/restaurant called Canters where, I was horrified to learn, nothing came with fries. Seriously, it was extra for fries. I used to work at a similar deli/restaurant where the prices were more reasonable, but this is L.A. What do I expect in a town where they charge for water at a bar. Okay, getting off topic, as usual.

I expected Krazy K to run up and chat with Drummer Boy when we saw him, but she didn't. Instead, she pulled me into the bathroom where she frantically checked her hair and makeup and declared she felt naked without powder on her face- for the umpteen millionth time that night (the bathroom make-up checking ritual had and would go on all evening. I was afraid everyone would think our frequent trips were coke-related). I assured her she looked fine, but she refused to believe me (models are not as secure as I have always believed them to be). We wen't back out and again, she got cold feet about talking to Drummer Boy. I didn't see why. I figured she knew him and he wasn't that cute. He had longish hair and he was too skinny. I don't like the skinny long hairs. I tend to go for burly and clean-cut types- you know, MEN.

I informed Krazy K that she was acting like a stalker and she should just go up and talk to him. She did talk to him and to his friend (who she said she'd talked about me to. I was hoping for a little flirtation. I know, THE VOW. But a girl needs to flirt once in a while). I just hung back and looked awkwardly around me as she neglected to introduce me to either one (someone has not been reading their Emily Post). I was a little miffed at that, but I can forgive it. After all, Krazy K was in a highly emotional state. After talking to Drummer Boy, she lamented that he hated her and would never hook up with her. I didn't believe this was the case. They didn't talk long enough for her to assume that. But who knows?

We went to the Restaurant That Has Something Against Side Dishes and I had a pastrami sandwich and she had more beer and some fries. She told me the tear-soaked history of Krazy K and the Drummer Boy. They fooled around once a long time ago. She wasn't into him. He's hot drummer now and has girlfriend in England. She wants the love that was lost. Ah, an age old tale.

I told her to screw it, forget it, he has a girlfriend. She wants to be his US side woman. She said he had a girl back then, too. So what's the difference? I disapprove, of course. I told her he fools around on his girlfriends. He probably has herpes. And he's not a nice kind of boy. She says she still wants to fool around with him. I said she should try talking to him then. My advice didn't work out. We spent the rest of the night ten feet away from him. She'd occasionally ask me to act like she said something cool. I'd repeatedly tell her she's twelve.

At one point, Semi-Good Looking Latin Man (to be dubbed SGLLM) started flirting with me, asking me what I was scribbling. He kept calling me the poet (though it wasn't poems- it was more dirtytrashysecretnovel). I was like, hey! I can do me some flirtin. But it was not to be. Krazy K stepped in then.

It should be widely known that the appropriate thing to do when your friend is being hit on is back off. Don't flirt with the guy. He is property of the friend. Krazy K is from Oregon. This might not be known to her. She grasped SGLLM's hand and proceeded to fondle and kiss it - out of nowhere! She then asked him to get her a Corona. She didn't yet know SGLLM was broke. Anyway, from that moment on, we hung with the guy. He was flirting with both of us now, but with Krazy K more. He told me that I was "tough" at one point. I wondered what that meant. He kept leering at the two of us now. Like he thought, since we'd both flirted with him, we'd give him double the pleasure.

Let me say now that I never have and never will be involved in a threesome or involved with a man who wants one. If I'm with someone, I want them to want only me. And I want them to want the same from me. I hate when girls touch each other only to make men notice them. It's trashy. I believe in monogamy. Be gay, be straight, but be monogamous, even if only for a week. I want a man that wouldn't want me to kiss anyone else- be it another man, a woman, or a goat. That's the kind of a hairpin I am.

Anyway, I decided not to flirt with SGLLM anymore. Krazy K could have him. But she didn't want him, only the beer he could get her. I backed off and sat by myself the rest of the time. I was in a bad mood now. Eventually, he left. Krazy K and I were going to do the same, but Drummer Boy inexplicably invited us to a party. I didn't want to go, but decided to after being begged (Krazy K's begging consists of the word "please" said repeatedly, by the way). On the way to the car, Krazy K was in a bad mood. I asked her if I came off "tough." She told me yes. That was another wrong friend move. She was supoosed to say "no," or even "sometimes." I asked her why she thought so. She said Drummer Boy said he thought I was a lesbian. Krazy K said he said I "just gave off that vibe." That sort of pissed me off. I wondered why he even wanted to know, considering I didn't talk to him all night. I thought it would be presumptuous, considering I hadn't been introduced. Why would he want to know? Was it his business to speculate about my sexuality? It upset me because I don't want men to think I'm a lesbian. It's not that I have anything against lesbians. It's just... Say you're in a restaurant where they serve great desserts. A rumor that you're diabetis has gotten around (or maybe you give off a diabetic vibe). Now nobody will offer you any dessert. And even though you're on a diet, or have taken THE VOW, you'd like at least the option of dessert. I started to wonder why he thought I was a lesbian. Maybe I don't act girly enough and straight men think that if you don't twitter and twirl your hair, you aren't attracted to men. Anyway, I don't think I did anything to give that impression. If I'd been stand-offish to men, it was because I knew no one (and had been introduced to no one), there was also THE VOW, and the issues I have with guys courtesy of the boys in grade school . Anyway, the night doesn't end there. There are worse things to come...

DUH! DUH! DUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!

To be continued...