2004-01-01

I am drunk. Let's be clear on that right now so there's no surprises when I sound psycho or say "I love you" eighty times. I have consumed two bottles of champagne- not at a party either. One of them was during my movie marathon- and the other was a consolation prize for my not having anyone to exchange tongues with on this festve night. But I thought that writing now was a really good (or really bad) idea. Because I could say some things Sober April wouldn't say (because Aprils don't get drunk very often- despite how I claim I'm drunk when I'm incoherent. I'm actually not- I'm just plain incoherent). Anyhow, let's lay it all out. Let's open up.

I do NOT have job satisfaction. I have a Theater degree which proves more and more useless as every day goes by. And every day that goes by where I'm not that world famous actress/comic I was bankingon, I get more and more lost. I have no clue where my life is going. So if I've given off that "Together" vibe (which I doubt), it was all an act.

I really do want a boyfriend. I have no one to cuddle up and argue with. I want someone who's a really good kisser and as obsessive about entertainment as I am (but not a Trekkie... maybe an X-phile). Does this man exist? Steer him in my direction. Because I am just a teensy bit lonely.

Who am I kidding? I'm sick of being single, damn it!! All I want is an intelligent guy who's willing to sit through hours of TV and movies and wants to make out with me. Is this that much of a reach? I don't see why it is. Yet year after year, April is alone.

I talk about my dirty novel like I hate it, but I really do love it like my own dirty baby. I'd kill to have it published. If anyone reading this wants a copy, I'll send it to you. I want someone to love my dirty baby like I do.

I put on this front like I hate Preteen programming. But I'm as sucked in as your average preteen. Save me! No, don't! I don't know.

I have feelings for a nameless guy I don't want to have feelings for. Even Drunk April won't say the name. Because it's too sad... and typical.

I love the crap out of my family. They seriously rock. My dad and the Evil Stepmum, and La Nikki and The Sean and Kev and Christian and Angel and Logan and Taylor and Grandpop and Uncle Joe and Lisa and their three snotnoses and Uncle Mike and Aunt Colette and Aunt Mimi and Aunt Gigi and Aunt Cathy and Aunt Eileen (and all their husbands) and Renee and Hannah and Joey and Danny and Mike and Gina and Carmen and Heather and... my famly is way too big to list. I LOVE YOU ALL!

And I love Hometown and Lisa-Lisa and D-San and Evil-T and even Krazy K. I love my friends!

I LOVE everyone reading this!!! Do you hear me? You... who are reading this? I LOVE YOU! That's right. I love everyone when I'm drunk. It's how an April is. If you love me, tell me. Even a Sober April needs the love.