2003-08-13

On Toilets and RETRO-DIARY#10- A new love... or is it?

Man- I just went to the bathroom and I have this weird light switch that is going off by itself lately because it needs fixing. Whatever- the point is I got so afraid all the sudden and clenched up and couldn't finish. See, when I was little there had been some plumber commercial where it was all, "beware of the clog" and had this creepy, leathery mini monster poking it's head up out of the toilet and making biting and growling faces. And ever since I saw that (and I was seven then), I always remember randomly remember it in mid-stream. It has ruined my life. Because that commercial didn't make me want to call that plumber. Hell, I don't have the faintest what plumber it was for. It just left me scarred and makes me have to keep looking down into the toilet alot. You know, cause the monster wants to bite me in my ass- or somewhere worse! (shudder) thank you so friggin much, random plumber! You have ruined my toilet time! Consistently! For eighteen years!

Anyway, it's the beginning of eighth grade and Preteen April has a new love on the horizon... or does she? Anyway, throw on a pair of jellies, crank up that Bel Biv Devoe and let the words take you back to...

9-7-91

I still love Kevin. [Did I say the Kevin era was over in the last entry? I'm such a liar. Actually, I think this is the death throes of the Kevin era as we make way for new love... or do we?] But, Diary, you are a witness to my new discovery. I sort of like Adam Marglebargle, my sister's ex. [...if you count dating for a week as being an ex, then okay. And, obviously, Preteen April does. So, okay. I hardly remember this. I had to think hard to put a face on this Adam cjaracter] It's not for sure though. I'm not sure. But he's cute, My age, and he's not a pervert, [Oh, come on! He probably was] and he's kinda nice. But I still love Kevin. I'll think about it tomorrow. [Now I remember! I knew the guy a long time from school. He was always a jerk. I think he was being nice to me for five seconds. So, Preteen April being the desperate, little thing she is, just runs with it. Nikki dumped the poor kid and he might have stopped calling me fat for three seconds to get in good with her. Hey, Adam, Nikki loves it when people call me fat. Trust me] Tonight I have a bigger problem. Joey Jailbait likes me. [Ugh! The kid was four years younger than me! I baby sat him, for Christ's sake!] And I don't want to be mean or hurt his feelings. But I don't like him that way. Just a friendly liking. And everyone is trying to make me go out with him. And saying I'll grow to like him if I date him. [Hello, people? I baby sat him!] I'm almost 14. He's 10. [Yeah, nuff said. That's alot at that age.] He isn't right for me. And my so called "friends" and sister are trying to make me date him. [so called is so right- you don't know how damn straight you are sometimes, Preteen April] I'll talk to Dan tomorrow. [I assume I meant my cousin Dan, not my first hag master, D-San. We'd not yet met.]

I'm tired,

April

9-12-91

1. I'm dating Adam, have not hooked up yet. [I know why... Wait for it]

2. I'm running for student council (classroom rep.)

April

Tagged that last on- too short not to. The next entry is about four months after this- should I wait four months to post it? Probably not. The two people reading this might find me out and lynch me. That would suck. Lynching hurts, doesn't it?