2003-12-06

I'm not very tired and I seem to be in a writing mood, so I'm posting another RETRO-DIARY because I know I've been neglecting Preteen April. And we all know how much Preteen April can't stand being ignored. She can hardly be a great martyr when nobody's watching. Anyway, on to the entry.

Ah, yes! The seeds of bitterness are being sown! April is getting bitter about the boys! This will go on- probably longer than it should. But at least she's getting bitter! It's so much better than painfully naive and watching too many Disney movies. So. Yay! Oh, I can't wait till she gets snarky (Wee!). So, throw on your black tank top and black jeans (because we're getting bitter now and I used to wear that outfit when I started getting bitter) and crank that early Tori Amos up (I remember I liked her, but hadn't the guts to go against the status quo- yet) and let the words take you back to...

1-9-92

Dear diary,

I hate boys! [Yes! Yes! Bring on the angst!] They walk up to me and tease me like "Oh, April, Hi. Will you go out with me?" or "Oh, you're so beautiful." Just to tease me 'cause I'm not perfect! [Too true- used to gather around me in a circle as I walked to recess- stupid football players!] I have blonde hair (it's getting browner how). [You didn't hear that. I was never blonde. I swear it.] I'm, let me confess, 14 and 125 lbs. I'm short, but not as short as before. I am big-boned [Oh, honestly, April!]. I mean it, my width of my chest is huge [Oh, come on. So you're chubby. Admit it. It's your diary for chrissakes!]. My sis complains if I wear her bras, I stretch them width-wize [Okay, cause that can't be fat stretching a bra]. Exams are next week, I'm stressed out, studying. I'll tell ya what I promised to tell the other night, tomorrow night. It's Friday so I can get to bed later and write all I want [But no one will ever see that and I'll tell you why after this entry].

Love ya,

April

So, the next day is missing because, months later, Jaye (the bad, bad nanny from the last Retro Diary ) took it upon herself to read my diary and tear out any pages revealing Nikki's relationship with her son, Ben. I think she was afraid my dad would read it (which he wouldn't- my Dad actually respects my privacy) and that would get her and her stupid son kicked out and then she wouldn't be able to insinuate her fat-ass into his heart. I know, being a "fat activist" of sorts, I shouldn't say mean stuff like that. But I can't help it. She was a heinous, evil cow.

Anyway, Jaye had fed me all this crap about how she only read it because she was worried about me and only ripped it out because she knew I needed a woman like her to stay in my life or something. And if my father read it, he'd make her leave. I totally swallowed it at the time. I thought she was great because she was female and had been in my life for a few months (I was so desperate for a woman to talk to then). Now I look back very bitterly at her. She was a manipulative bitch. She was even having a fling with an ugly teenager down the street. Not only a bitch, but a statutory rapist.

I have to start watching Jerry Springer. She's bound to show up sometime.