2004-02-20

"Godzilla is like a Christmas decoration - all deaf and crispy." Seriously, my random surrealism generator at the bottom just said that. It might not say it now. It rarely repeats. But I loooove that it said that. I am rolling all over that. Awesome.

I just love random crap like that. It's part of the charm of MST3K. They throw out a sentence sometimes that just doesn't fit at all and I'll be gasping for breath. Ralph Wiggum does that, too. I heart Ralph. I want to have a little psycho just like him.

On to other things. Just realized that I have not been giving Preteen April any attention. She. Is. Incensed. So I'm going back in time and seing if she's stopped being a doofus yet.

1-24-92 [Just realized Preteen April had been still doing '91 all over everything. Yeah. I still do that every January]

Dear Diary,

Hi! What's up, besides the sky. [Yup. Still being a doofus. Also, the word up wasn't actually there. It was signified by a stupid arrow. *shakes head*] Back to guys. I haven't written for days. But before I go on about guys, here's my present week life. [Oh, no. Please! Don't!] I had my period from Tuesday to Friday. I never saw so much blood and spotting in my life. [It was six months after my first period. I remain convinced the first was some sort of hemorhoid fluke.] I hope I'm not grossing you out. About guys, if a boy will ever like me for my personality, they will have to get 2 know me first. Guys won't like to get to know a girl unless she's pretty. So no guy will ever get through 2 my personality. [There you go, Honey. So true. At least for boys at that age. You are becomeing... me. Good and hopeless. And you know what else? It's not that much harder to write the word "to"- just sayin.]

Today I'll talk about some faves of mine. [Has someone been reading Sassy?]

My favorite:

1. Authors- Louis Carroll, C.S. Lewis, Louisa May Alcott, Elizabeth George Spere. [*sniff* Girl was still a child. It should be known that they are now Stephen King, Jane Austen, and J.K. Rowling. I'm just going for people whose books I read ten times over. I know Rowling's she's a one-hit wonder so far. But she could show to have more range when Potter's all done.]

2. Favorite Books- Alice in WonderLand, Narnia Chronicles, Little women 1+2, Witch of Blackbird Pond [So now they would be - going on two from each - It, The Stand, Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, Goblet of Fire, and Order of the Phoenix.]

3. Actors/Actresses- Leslie Nielson, Margaret O'Hara, James Stewart, Judy Garland, Carey Grant, Shirley Temple, and Christopher Lloyd. [I will not deny that these people have their merits, but my tastes here have also progressed. Current (and, for some, lasting) obsessions? Jack Black, Johnny Depp, Kathy Bates, Christopher Plummer, Jim Broadbent, Juliet Stevensen, Christine Baranski.]

4. Saints - [Oh, sweetie. You need to be just a tiny bit less of a nunn] Bernadette, Francis of Assisi, Cecilia. [Actually, these are good picks as far as saints go. If i had to pick saints now, I'd still go for these guys. Cecilia was the patron saint of music, St. Francis was the only saint that bothered with the animals, and Bernadatte had a damn good movie based on her life- Song Of Bernadette- Jennifer Jones and Vincent Price. Good flick.]

Hey, that's all Preteen April wrote. No parting salutation? Okay, enough about her. Though I am glad of her mild hopelessness with the boys. For some reason, I can't stand to see her happy. Is that mean of me... to me?

Speaking of me, I have made a to-do list for the year. 10 things to do in 2004- I know it's late for resolutions, but what the hell?

1- finish the second novel and the third

2- pay off three credit cards

3- move to LA

4- try to flirt at bars- or anywhere. Try to flirt at all- because I seriously have no game.

5- become a size ten or a happy size fourteen

6- drink water!!! Less Diet Coke!!!

7- get a manager or agent.

8- get the van in fabulous condition--- somehow.

9- donate all clothes I haven't worn in over a year

10- get back into stand-up.

I will do these things. I need to. The manager or agent thing may be hard. I mean, that's partly up to fate. But the rest is all up to me. It just remains to be seen whether I am placing undue faith in myself. It's about 3:15 am. Should sleep. I'm sick of going to work practically in the middle of a REM cycle. I shold have put "fix sleep issues" on the list. Oh, well. Too late. I'm off the hook. Another year of slacking on that end.