2004-02-29

I really should be spanked, too. I haven't written a thing in a week. I haven't posted my stupid AI reaction on the other planet . And I ate chocolate today, even though I told myself I was giving it up for lent! Ooooh! I could just spank me! I'm due for a good spanking... to be administered by Vincent DiNofrio, Patrick Warburton, and one Mr. John Malkovich (There. Now you know who I would have spank me if given the choice. Which I rarely am. I get blindfolded and shoved into that room as soon as they have my money. Stupid clubs).

Mmmmm! Dinofrio!... Ahem. Sorry.

I really have no news. Our Hitchcockian show at Second City rocked, even if it was accidentally about ten minutes shorter than it should have been. I lost two pounds, placing my weight at 170 now. Not thin, but I am getting away from that pesky fourteen and creeping slowly back to a twelve. I saw Grace from Joan of Arcadia at this bar called Marix, where I impressed my companions with my ability to do shots of Jameson's without grimacing or getting very drunk. I have decided that my new drinking strategy is shots followed by Diet Cokes. It's less fattening and you're less likely to get drunk when your drinks are spaced out and not gulped down like liquid candy and, most importantly, it's cheaper.

What has been going through my head lately:

Why don't I have a crush on anybody? Has my romantic drive either died or been fulfilled by the fantasy men of my novels?

Though I can't say I miss Good Morning Miami, I can say I miss Matt Lescher. I didn't religiously watch it, but it would sometimes be taped along with my Will and Grace and I'd fast forward until he made an appearance. I had a dark, secret crush on Gavin- only because he has that snobby, deep voiced man thing happening. Why can't I have a snobby boyfriend with a deep voice? That would be crush-worthy.

I actually did have a crush on a guy like that. I believe I mentioned him in another entry .

What is it about watering plants that makes me feel I'd rather scrub a thousand toilets? I can't seem to get it done. It's not that I hate living things. What is my problem?

I gave myself bangs again. Why don't I ever learn?

Why does Ryan Seacrest have ten jobs in entertainment and I don't have one? He's a greedy gus.

I made Krazy K watch The 10th Kingdom. And she didn't think Scott Cohen was dreamy at all!! What the hell is with her? Scott Cohen! Wolf! I mean, you'd have to be dead or a lesbian not to stare moony-eyed at him. And I'm not even sure that a lesbian wouldn't want to hit that- at least once. Then again, Krazy K didn't like Colin Firth. We obviously can't rely on Krazy K's taste in men.

And I guess it's good when you and your friend don't like the same guys. That means more for you.

I want my boobs to be bigger. They have some nerve being a B-cup when my hips are built to support a D.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I should quit or cut down on smoking. I keep getting winded too easily.

My relationship with TV is probably unhealthy. I shouldn't depend on it so much for gratification. Especially when it always fails me. It's like when you expect too much out of your boyfriend. Like you don't tell him you want a fuss over your birthday, but you want him to do it anyway and then he doesn't. In fact, he betrays you by ousting your new best friend off American Idol. That bastard!

Why did Lisa Lueschner get voted off? She was messy, but she sang like a diva and looked like Toni Colette! She was my best friend!

I think I need a more active social life.