2004-05-24

The Atkins diet is a cult and nobody knows it but me. I'm serious. People come up and try to convert you to it. And, if this person is someone you see regularly, they will. not. stop. I can shake off a born-again Christian more easily.

I still hate myself for watching The Swan. These women with pitifully low self-image come in. They get their faces rearranged. Suddenly, it's like a miracle. Look at you, Girl! You're worthy to live now! Plastic surgeon tears are puddling on the floor!

It's just so disgusting. Their self-worth is inexorably tied up with their looks. None of these women are that deformed! I, of course, agree with the extreme dental cases. I can't imagine myself if I'd never had braces. I agree with getting in there with a personal trainer. But losing yourself? I have my Aunt Mimi's nose, my father's eyes, my grandmother's lips, and my Aunt Gigi's hair. These are things that were given to me. And even if they don't gel so well together all the time, they're me.

I don't have as much of a problem with the lipo. I mean, it's an easy way out, because it could be done by diet and exercise. BUt you're not doing anything terribly unnatural. I see it as a really expensive way of blowing your nose... excpet for tummies. You know what I'm saying, right? Riiight? Oh, shut it.

I just... Why all the big lips? Can't people have small lips? Meryl Streep has very nice, though small lips. Everyone has the same freakin Pamela Anderson pout!

And can't one of these women be a B-cup? Is it such a crime to have small boobs? I'm a fluctuator between small C and large B, myself. And though they aren't big. They're rather perky. And they're mine. And I don't know how trustworthy implants are. And I'd kind of like to breast feed someday. I can't be all, "Here, Mini April or Colin Firth Junior, have some jelly from my bag of boob."

What was my point?

Anyway, I hate the whole thing. But I'm not going to stop watching. Because I'm awful. Just awful.