2003-05-09

My life up to now:

I work at Denny's. It gets worse. I work graveyard at Denny's. See, I'd quit this one crappy waitressing job. I got an even crappier waitressing job. So when Denny's hired me I was ecstatic. And that's bad. Because, you know, Denny's. So, I'm less than happy with my life.

It's bad there. There are crazy, creepy, white power people carving swasticas on the wall in the men's room. That scares me. I want out. I thought graveyard was the answer, but now I see I'm in a whole heap o' trouble and I neeeeed out.

So I'm outing myself. See, they wouldn't give me two weeks to go back home to PA for a big, family wedding. So, I decided (probably not responsibly) to quit. I'll go back to wonderful, smoker-friendly Philly for the two weeks, then come back to stupid, health-nazi Orange County and find a new job.

I even have an evil plan where I can still get a good reference out of them (because, apparently, even though I am decidedly NOT a good waitress, they seem to want me to stay. Probably cause I'm one of the few that doesn't smoke pot or steal). See, I sowed the seeds of my big lie two weeks ago. I said I was auditioning for this touring children's theater thing that works all summer. The "audition" was yesterday. The "callback" will be this week. And guess what? Guess who's gonna get cast? God, I wish my real life were that way.

I guess it seems overly complicated, but I need to do it this way. I won't be able to use them as a reference all summer. But I can use them in the fall. I just hate burning bridges. It's impossible for me to be the bad guy. I'm a people pleaser. They seem to like me and the more good references, the better. And, believe me, they don't cotton too well to people who quit.

So, I'll get back from PA in mid June. I'll audition for Second City's Conservatory program. I'll get in or I won't. I'll probably get another job easily. I mean, who doesn't need a waitress?

And I wonder why it takes me so long to write things. I got up, had a pretzel, smoked a half cigarette, made my Freddie Krueger action figure attack my Powerpuff Girls skateboard friends. Focus. I even make writing for fun into work. Anyway, can't wait to be done with the evil, white-trash, scary, skinhead-frequented, old person infested Denny's. I hate waitressing and I hate old ladies who press a quarter into your hand with a wink, like "That's ALL for you, dear." I guess it was alot when they grew up, but come on!

Seriously, it is so friggin hard to be a wannabe actress/comic/writer in this world. Add a diet and desperate attempts to cut down on smoking and I am seriously the most stressed out person in the history of mankind. Like, all those people that live in third world countries or are in the witness protection program or have to run countries.... nothing. They have it easy.

I'm kinda worried about finding a new job when I come back. I'm seriously watching those Devry College and ITT Tech commercials and getting sucked in- until I snap out of it. I'm a rebel. I don't need no dumbass establishment job. If I listened to those bastards, I'd have my own place and a comfortable nest egg by now- we all know that's for suckers.

When I'm not getting sucked into TV, I'm playing computer solitaire till my eyes lose their ability to blink. Or I'm asleep. Sadly, that's my life, folks. Gosh. I don't feel like writing anymore. I hate to end this on a sad note, though. Um.... Puppies! But I'm allergic. Unicorns! Crap! I hate unicorns. Okay, here is the happy thing: Cigarettes that DON'T give you cancer (if you find any, let me know).

April