2003-05-30

RETRO-DIARY #2- The Slumber Party of Looooove

This is three days after - it's the newlywed phase of my first relationship (If you want to call it that. I wouldn't, considering it was two weeks long. Also, ain't no real relationships until after eighteen in my mind). Without further ado, pop in a tape of Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl," throw a crotch-snapping leotard on under your stone-washed jeans, and let the words take you back to:

8-1-91

He slept over tonight. It was my cousin's B'day party even if it was a couple months early [don't ask- there was this thing where birthdays were too close to Christmas and blah blah blah]. But I'm happy. We were going to kiss but my brother Sean was pressuring us so that turned me off to it. I don't like being pressured into things. Dared but not pressured. [huh? That just sounds weird. I don't get me sometimes.] I'm not chicken but I do things on my own. But I want to kiss him tomorrow [I bet "I'll learn to like it" went through my head. If it didn't, it should have. I remember that going through my head every time I thought of kissing him]. I sometimes don't like adults to know I'm going out with him. But I love him. It's just that they might say "She's too young." Especially my Dad. He's really over-protective. He loves me but he wants to save me, in a sense. But I would never do anything really stupid like lose my virginity or make out [don't get the make-out thing- what the hell did I think swapping spit with loverboy was anyway?]. I'm not that type of girl. A priest told me in confession [It says a lot about Preteen April that she went to a Priest after her first kiss] that a kiss is just a kiss. [Play it again, father.] Unless it's vile or disgusting [I bet I was paraphrasing]. It wasn't vile [Oh, yes it was. You totally brushed your teeth every time!]. It was rather nice [Rather? God, I am the adolescent girl version of Frasier over here]. I'm 13, almost 14 and most girls do worse at 10 [Truly, we had these pre-ubescent B.J. queens in my neighborhood. Mary and Janet. I wonder if they're hookers now? I wonder if they were hookers then? Was there money involved? I should call some old friends and check that out. Sad, though. What were their parents like that they saw nothing wrong with this?]. My sister had her first kiss at 10 [Oh, there's a whole new kettle of worms. Wait till we get to the Nikki love life and the Nikki angst]. She's almost 15 and she's never been to 2nd base. [Tch! Sweetie, you don't even know.] Or maybe she has. She's weird. She's a little too into boys. I talk about Kevin cause I have it bad. I gotta go to bed.

Yours Truly,

April Marie Bernadette O'RandomIrishnamy

---It should be noted that I drew a big heart with little hearts inside it here. Ew. Surprised I didn't sign it Mrs. Crushboy. What a dork. Anyhow, stay tuned for the heartbreak- oh, the heartbreak.