2003-07-27

I'm so sick of people (by people, I mean practically my whole family) constantly telling me to grow up and find a real career and that I'm lazy and sloppy (which is sort of true) and I'll never make it (which I hope is not true). I'm also sick of the sunshine gang (like Aunt Colette and Krazy K, to name a few) being so up and friggin positive about everything- telling me I work so hard and I have talent and it's going to pay off. I hate useless platitudes- I also hate a good kick in the ass. What do I need? I have no idea. There. I'm done now.

Been in LA constantly these last two weeks doing lots of extra work for virtually no pay. I've drained my savings, I'm late on bills and I'm very miserable. Did I say I was done? I lied.

Despite my poverty, I'm still putting off getting a regular, steady job. I have some auditions/work/shmoozy events/classes to go to this weekend. After that, I may go for some part-time weekend work. Okay, done griping. Current April isn't having the best time. I think we should visit Preteen April and see what's up with her. Maybe we should take a trip. A trip back in tiiiiiiiime! Let's put our pre-slutty Mariah Carey in the tape player, throw on our favorite orange hypercolor, and let the words take us back to...

RETRO-DIARY#6

8-26-91

Today I'm a little angry. Nicki, my sister is a little of the reason. [Nikki -as she's known now- is more than usually alot of the reason. She took up a crapload of my diary]. We were always best friends. She and I would know secrets about eachother we'd never tell anyone [like how we were going to run away and marry the New Kids on the Block- except Danny cause- ew]. Now she's treating me like a BABY sister and she tells her secrets to her friends. I just guess I'm not a friend to her. I'm only 1 year younger than her. She used to be my best friend. I told her secrets, I still do. But I hardly seem to know her anymore. She makes me feel a little young, like 3. She says I'm too much of a goody-two-shoes. She calls me a nunn.[Sweetie, do you need the other n?] So I love God, my family, and don't think cursing is very neccessary [spelling error] in every, single, solitairy [woops- number 3] situation. But I'm not a nunn. I love her, but she makes me feel like the baby sister who always says, "I'm gonna tell!" Why am I cursid? [Preteen April cannot spell when angry. Also, huh? Was I hitting the Shakespeare a little heavy that day? I was such a tool.] I'm just her little tag-a-long baby sister. So I'm gonna keep my secrets to myself and my journal [Yeah! You go! That'll show her! Except how she totally won't notice].I'll make her feel like she's not understanding enough to know what I do. [Yeah! She'll never know about that time I said "hell" or that time I said I cleaned the tub, but only ran the water! Or how I "still love Kevin (boo-hoo, sniffle, puke)" Man, she is so missing out on the juice!]. Good, bad, or really major bad [or awesomely, bodaciously heinous?]. She won't know. She'll be curious, I think [Um, sure, April, okay (slowly backing away)]. If we can't get closer to eachother any other way. It's gotta be by growing distant.

Sweet Dreams [Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Yes, sweet dreams, indeed!]

April

Ooh, that April was a sinister, little plotstress. I bet Nicki (whose name spelling went from Nickey to Nicky to Nicki to Nikki throughout the years) was not deserv-ed of so harsh a punishment. April, you cruel thing. What's sad is that, right now, Preteen April is a helluva lot more interesting than new and improved April. I better go knock over a vegan grocer just to keep up.

-Woke before noon

-Went to mass

-Beat "Nancy Drew: Stay Tuned for Danger" PC game (with only a little hint look-upping)

-Went off diet again

-Yeah- I think that's all