2003-08-08

RETRO-DIARY#8- Another twofer, folks

All three of the people reading this should be thrilled that, due to the overwhelming response to my double retro-diary (okay- none), I'm giving you another! Whee!

Sorry. In the middle of writing this, I got distracted and went to get a soda and smoke. Anyway, here's what I want you to do: I want you to slip on some bobos, blast that C&C Music Factory, and let the words take you back to...

9-3-91

I still love Kevin. I still don't know why he dumped me [Jesus! When will this end! Who the hell is this girl?]. All these guys were looking at Nicki's butt today. They were saying, "Nice Ass" and she hated it [two things- what ass? Nikki never really had an ass. I don't either mine is flat and wide, hers is flat and narrow. The guys in my neighborhood were a little posery, though. Maybe they were thinking, "We better pretend we like girls' asses so nobody thinks we're gay." And did I say she "hated it"? That doesn't sound like Nikki. She probably loudly proclaimed she hated it for the next week so everyone would keep in mind that her ass got complimented]. Those guys were jerks. [well, that part's true- especially if we consider what happened the next summer... wait for it!] Carol kissed Brian Jerkboy. She likes him alot and I hope he wants to go out with her [yeah, my life was empty enough that my diary had other peoples' news]. Also- I start school tomorrow. I feel weird about it. And that's the nightly with April ***** tune in tomorrow for Creative Jello mold making [Oh, Jeezly Crow! You are a dork!!!!!!]

April O'RandomIrishnamey

saying G-nite

9-4-91

I still love Kevin. I still don't know why he dumped me. [It's like it's replaced Dear Diary in her lingo- it has no meaning- it's just always there. Make it stop]. I started school today. It was O.K.

The good points

1. Mrs. McTeacher isn't as mean as everyone says

2. I wasn't clutzy [I bet that's a lie]

3. Carol is in one of my classes, Sci.

4. What I'm learning in Sci this year I already learned last year

The bad points

1. I sit next to **** Korupchuck [See, you're already cursed with a name like that. If he was someone who rose above his name, he'd have gained my respect. But, no. He insisted on smelling like a deli and picking his boogers. His nickname was "booger," which may be an improvement over Korupchuck]

2. No one cared that I'm back

3. I'm too short

4. I was bored out of my mind [girl, you never had it so good- school was eighty times better than work- of any kind]

I'm glad no one teased me today [give it a week or two]. I wish I had more friends. I feel so out of place at school. I'm always standing in solitude looking at my shoes. That dumb girl in the corner wishing she was somewhere else. No one to talk to. Not a friend in the room [you are so melodramatic]. I wish Carol was in homeroom. [Why? she used to pull your hair and call you retard] Then I'd have a friend to talk to. [Carol? Friend? Who the hell are you talking about? Carol was that mean girl. "April. you're such a retard." Then she'd pull your hair. Ring a bell?] I wish everyone knew I sang at Disneyland. Then I'd have something to be proud of. [True- did that contest and all. Had this idea that, when you win singing contests and stuff, people suddenly love you. I saw those movies. Movies don't lie, do they?] I just wish I wasn't always so lonely and unoccupied.

Yours Truly,

Alone,

April

G-nite

[Oh, shut up, April!] Some names were changed to protect the innocent. But Korupchuck? No lie. His first name, however, is not ****.