2003-09-09

I was about to write all about how I've decided Billy Boyd is my new boyfriend (guess you'll have to see my actual site to read that, should I ever finish reconstructing the Entertainment Ramblings and actually post it). Anyway, was going to wax poetic on Billy "Pippin" Boyd, when Preteen April started screaming for my attention. I guess, with whining about being broke and Second City and Krazy K and all, I've neglected her. We can't have that. I wouldn't put it past Preteen April to melodramatically threaten Suicide.

Anyway, Preteen (possibly Teen- she's on the verge) April promised to tell you about Jaye and her son Ben. And she always keeps her promises (the little goody-goody). So put some stockings on under your cut-off shorts, crank up the pre-slutty Mariah Carey, and let the words take you back to...

1-7-92

Dear Diary,

Now, back to my life. My dad has the Internal Revenue after him he owes them money. So we have to cut back on all spending. Turn off lights more. No allowance. (actually I'm the only one giving that up. I offered). [Shut up, you holy tart! See what I mean about her?] I have a babysitting job. This Saturday for three kids. I asked $10 for 9 am to 6pm. [YOU IDIOT!] But I want to ask for more. [Damn right, you should! But you won't! You ass!] I have to split it w/ Katie because she'll be there for most of the time. Because she has dance class. [So why does she get half? Jeez, if only I was around back then. I could have told Preteen April that babysitting three brats should get you ten per hour- from experience.] I haven't talked of Jaye (Jessica is her actual name) and she's been here since July. She is like a live-in babysitter. Dad pays her w/ free room and board. She's like an aunt who lives with us. [except for how she's SATAN!] She's an interior decorator and representative for Strawbridges + Clothier. We get 20% of all we buy. [What do they do? Cut it at the register? Ba-dum-bum! Thank you, thank you. I'm here all night.] She is all Italian. She is nice, [...or is she?] but has a slightly short temper. But she is nice to us. She has black/brown hair. She is overweight but has lost alot since June. [It's interesting how nice April is to any woman over 30. Hmmmmm. A little desperate for a mother figure, maybe?] Probably cause we keep her on her toes. Sean ticks her off, he annoys the heck out of her. She goes up the wall. [Yeah, Sean'll do it to you sometimes or at least he really tries.] He is 16 going on 2. [Ain't it the truth. He was like a "collector" of action figures and Sci-fi fan. What a dork... but I should talk, right? Anyway, by all rights, he should be fat and working in a comic book store a la the guy on the Simpsons, but he grew out of it... whereas I have a Freddie Krueger action figure and memorabilia mounted on my wall and read X-Files fan iction... Did I just say that last part out loud?] I'll talk of him later when time is more. [Don't need to. Just covered it. I got your back, Sis.] Then there is Ben, he's nice. [Poor Preteen April. Thought everyone was nice- so naive.] He always talks like a black person. If one didn't see him they'd think he was black. [Oh, yes. Indeed one would, my dear. I think I covered him earlier. He's the one who was one bad mother- shut your mouth- until it was all "Moooom! I want my blue shirt! Moooooom! I wanted Cocoa Puffs! Moooom! Get me big pants so my Fila boxers can stick out!" Then he was whiny- I mean white- all the sudden.] Uncle Joe was laid off since after Operation Desert Storm. He has a job again in an airplane plant. He's been dating Lisa for a while, a year. He has proposed w/ a 1/2 carat diamond ring. I'm happy. Me and Lisa were close to each other in Calif. Tomorrow night I'll tell you about exams, My life goal, + my feelings about where I belong. [Oh, such a deep thinker, that Teen April.] Thank you for listening to me and my ball point pen.

Love,

April

PS- I'll also tell you about music + "Beauty and the Beast" from Disney + "Little Mermaid" too. [Huh? Well, she's not so much deep as she is 9. She hasn't become Teen April yet. I was wrong... again. *sigh*]