2004-04-26

I hate myself for watching The Swan. That doesn't mean I'll stop. I do lots of things that induce self-loathing.

Today I played one on one with my cousin, Patrick. I beat his ass, of course. And gloated mercilessly. I guess the downside would be that he's ten.

I've decided to stop posting American Idol crap on my other site. Mostly because it takes eight years to format it and nobody reads it. I'm not whining. It's just not crawled by many search engines and I just don't feel like putting in the time. So if I have anything to say about American Idol, I'll just bug you guys with it.

What bad news do I have after this long absence?

Grandpop had a TIA- sort of a very minor stroke or precursor to one. I thought, as did he, that it was the real deal when he knocked on my bedroom door at four in the morning. I panicked, dialed 911 and gave him aspirin. He was the calmer one. He was all, "Don't call nine-eleven. Call Michael." So I called my uncle Mike. And he said it didn't sound like a stroke and I should just drive him to the hospital. I figured it wouldn;t be much quicker than an ambulance as the hospital in Laguna Beach is five minutes away.

They let him out four hours later after his tests came out okay. He's still having trouble getting precise movement on the left arm. But the doctor just said to be very watchful as he may be in the danger zone for a stroke. All I needed. Another thing to keep me up at night.

Needless to say, my plan of either moving to LA or back east by June is foiled. I'll just stay here and try to find a way to make things work. I hate the long-ass drive to LA. But I can handle it for now. I just don't want him to live alone. What if I hadn't been there? It could have turned out much worse.

I said the Rosary at the hospital- or I tried. I suddenly realized that I don't know three of the prayers in it very well. I mean, the Hail Marys and Glory Bes, and Our Father- those I can do. But everything else? I made up some crap.

Don't worry. I'm not going to be holy now. I just happen to find those things comforting when you feel powerless and there's nothing concrete you can do. I'm not a staunch Catholic, really. But I was born one and I figure I'll stay one. Why? Because I was raised with it and I have no wish to change. While there are certain things about the church I take issue with (won't go into detail. tired), I'm mostly okay with it. It's there. It's comforting. It doesn't change- except in these hippie-ass California hootenanny masses. They annoy me. Give me my East Coast, bell-ringing altar boys and closed confession any day. Stupid Hippies.