2006-01-30

Some of the three people reading this may know my name now. That's okay. I was never big on anonymity. Most brief acquaintances probably know more about me than they ever wanted to. That's the kind of hairpin I am (points to anyone who knows what movie that sayings from).

I'm writing this even as my diary's still private, but figure I should get to it while things are still fresh in my mind.

Yes. This is the entry where I address all the controversy!!!!

Well, controversy... Probably not the right word for it. The biggest controversies involving me are usually "April lost her keys again" stuff.

More like... issues.

1. "It's Oh So Quiet" was originally done by Betty Hutton.

I know. I said Bjork because, well, it gets a response, sets up an expectation. They're expecting primal screams and squeaky shoe noises, I give them Little Miss Broadway.

Don't think I'm hating on Bjork, here, either. I absolutely adore her. She is the most innovative artist out there. Period. But I could never even attempt to do things her way. We have different voices (hers is cooler).

2. That dress was ugly... looked like upholstery... curtains... hideous...

Well, I dress to please me. And I still like my hideous dress. Nyah.

3. Her voice is awful... she only yelled the song... sucks.... meh... blah, blah, blah.

Hey! Be nice. I was up all night on pure nerves (anyone who's read this all along knows about my sleeping shit).

Also, the whole audition wasn't shown. I did the quiet bits as well, they just edited it out- along with my second song. That was "Only The Lonely" by The Motels. My sleepless rasp actually helped me there. Gave me that late Joni Mitchell edge.

4. She was only there to fool around and they sent her to Hollywood? Just like Crazy Dave...

I don't believe the Bjork/Betty number is a very good platform for a voice. I used it because it was fun and entertaining (and it got me to the judges round). I was first alto in Philly's All-Catholic chorus. I had plenty of solos throughout high school. My Ave Maria has made grown men cry. I'm serious about singing- always have been. But I put entertainment first. That was my time to entertain. I tried singing safely and prettily at my first audition in San Fran. You don't get past square one.

I chose to show my... eccentricities because I don't think people go for the fat chick trying to compete in the pretty, pink princess doing soul category. I went Ethel Merman. I almost AM Ethel Merman (which is why I still think my forties could be my best years). I'm the fat chick. I need to give them something the princess can't- like extreme clumsiness and self-deprecation.

5. April used to post at Television Without Pity as apeygirl.

True. Most of it was in X-files land. I discovered the site when it was still Mighty Big TV, when I read an X-files recap and fell in love with the place. I still read recaps, I still read forums. The recappers and readers on that site are the smartest and funniest people out there. When I can, I'll post again.

6. Vote For The Worst, Survivor Sucks, etc...

Yes, I read them... with evil glee. To be honest, I don't care how my name gets out there- as long as it's there. They've given me some attention and I love it. I was even in my first animated photo chop thingamajig. Plus, I liked my nicknames (Escunta and Dumb Bitch). My family was dying over the "Dumb Bitch taking wrong escalator" thread. Heh!

7. April smells just like heaven.

Only too true.

8. That escalator thing was soooo staged!

You wouldn't say that if you knew me.

And, help me out here, you drive on the right. In America, we naturally go to the right. So let's say someone was absolutely floored that they got their ticket. And maybe they go to the escalator without really looking at what direction it goes. And maybe their autopilot takes over and they (naturally, forgivably) go to the right.

So, yeah. There!

I guess.

9. April's probably really pissed that she didn't make top 24.

Not at all. I loved my time on the show and am grateful for the exposure. The other contestants and people working on it were always helpful all-around and supportive. I wish it had lasted longer, but everyone (me included) knew I wasn't cut from the pop idol cloth. It had to end somewhere.

Well, there it all is. If any of you three have questions, note me. I shall answer... all three of you.

PS- Hi, Fannie!!! I'm back! We can be identical again!